Turbolift Pick Up Lines
by yllektra
Summary: N. Uhura and Kirk get stuck in an elevator and Kirk tries to take advantage of the situation. But, Uhura loves Spock and doesn't care if she is rude :P


**Title:** Turbolift Pick-up Lines  
**Author:** **force_oblique**  
**Fandom:** Star Trek The Movie  
**Rating:** PG - kinda crack-ish  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything! :P  
**Characters/Pairings:** tough!Uhura, playboy!Kirk, Spock/Uhura  
**Spoilers/Warnings:** General fic - I just wanted to write a fic with Kirk being a bit jealous of the Spock/Uhura relationship..which let's face it it's not AU lol  
**Summary:** "_Are we…?" _Nyota trailed off in disbelief.  
"_Stuck?"_ he said as he turned his attention from the door back to her.  
"_Yep!"_ he confirmed with a shake of his head.  
"_The question is how will we ever spend the time till that happens?" _  
"_Wanna make out?"_ he finally asked her winking at her.

**Word Count:** ~1560  
-**Author's Notes:**This is my second Star Trek fic. I just hope it doesn't suck majorly, because I rarely write crack...  
WRITTEN purely for the LOLLS and in no way reflecting my opinion for Kirk or Uhura or their relationship. I love them both to bits!

_~ English is not my native language so excuse any crappiness and/or mistakes!_

**TURBOLIFT PICK-UP LINES**

Nyota exhaled and closed her eyes. It had been a long day but the look Spock had just given her was enough to make it all worthwhile. It wasn't rarely that she measured her value, not only as a student but also as a woman, depending on Spock's opinion of her.

When she opened her eyes, she smiled softly at him and began walking towards the turbolift.  
It was time to retire to her quarters since she was no longer needed.

She knew Spock would be excused shortly and follow her there.

Maybe nobody else noticed how he gave her a ever so little nod- because Spock was good at hiding his feelings and his thoughts from others, but not from her. It pleased her to think that she understood him and read him too in a way no one else could or bothered to.

It still was difficult, but the way he carried himself today was unmistakable and Nyota knew she wouldn't have to wait long till he was at her door.

Carefully, she stepped in the turbolift and patiently waited for the door to close, the smile intact on her face.  
A smile that quickly disappeared once Kirk entered the turbolift with her, mere moments before it closed.

He seemed particularly cheerful, which was not uncharacteristic of him, but the mischievous look on his face alerted her somehow and she instinctively cringed to the back of the turbolift.

She felt the familiar "whoosh" of it going up and only then did she allow herself to breathe.

She glanced at Kirk who was already staring at her and raised her eyebrow.  
She was ready to make a comment about it, when the turbolift suddenly stopped.

Her eyes moved frantically to its door, but she knew she wasn't where she was supposed to be.

"_You have got to be kidding me!"_ she let out, unsure as to what to make of it.  
"_Are we…?" _she trailed off in disbelief.

"_Stuck?"_ he said as he turned his attention from the door back to her.  
"_Yep!"_ he confirmed with a shake of his head.

"_Then why are you still smiling?"_ she exclaimed and dashed forward banging on the door with her hands.  
"_Hey, we are in here! Get us out!"_

"_Nyota"_ Kirk said grinning, not passing up on the opportunity to call her by her first name now that he finally knew it (which earned him a glare), "_They can't hear us"_.  
"_Don't worry, they are gonna get us out soon"_ he started clearing his throat.

"_The question is how will we ever spend the time till that happens?" _  
"_Wanna make out?"_ he finally asked her winking at her.

Nyota quickly considered counting to 10 – because she was told it helps- but she decided against it.  
She didn't mind hurting his feelings, if, indeed, that was possible.

"_First of all, it's Cadet Uhura to you and secondly how about I recite 'piss off' in 38 different dialects?"_  
"_Oh, sassy, I like that about you!"_ he said not put off by her comment in the slightest.

"_Just stay away from me, ok?" _she said in defeat as she retreated to the back of the turbolift again.

"_But, I am doing nothing"_ he comically said lifting his arms up in the air.  
"_Good, keep doing nothing"_ she encouraged him mockingly and turned her eyes anywhere but on him.

Spock couldn't believe how absent-minded he already was from the minute Uhura had left the deck.  
His mind was already on her and the moments they would share in her quarters as soon as he would find the opportunity to leave.

His heart beat had already accelerated by thirteen percent and on any other occasion he would deem it unacceptable but not this time. This time he had waited too long.

It had already been nine days since they had last been alone, but the schedule was tight and he couldn't be excused or let everything out of his mind as Uhura wanted whenever he went to her.

Yet, he still felt like something was wrong and his gaze wandered to the direction of the turbolift. Why was it still in use?  
"_Is everything alright with the turbolift?"_ he asked.

"_Yes why would there be anything… Oh my, I believe it's stuck"_ Scottie replied.  
"_Whoever was in there last, is still in there"_ he went on, finding it amusing in a way it made Spock want to smack him.

"_I believe it is Kirk and Cadet Uhura"_ he said and though his voice was steady, his heart skipped a few beats. "_Get them out of there now, please"_

The moments went by without her uttering a word, till she abruptly let out a sigh.  
"_God, this is a nightmare!"_ she exclaimed and he didn't miss the edge in her tone.  
"_Come on"_ Jimmy cajoled her. "_It's not so bad"_

"_You try getting stuck in an elevator, even as fancy as that, with you!"_ she snorted.  
"_I AM stuck in an elevator with ME. You barely spoke two sentences to me"_

"_Yeah, well take a hint!"_.

"_Come on, Uhura! I mean, I'm adorable. Lots of other women would kill to be in this position, stuck in a turbolift with me!" _

"_Well, I am not standing in their way"_ she just said and she tried to avert his eyes for as long as she could, when she saw him taking a few steps towards her.

He stopped only when he was less than a feet from her.  
"_You mean that you would never sleep with me, even if I were the last man in the galaxy? Don't you find me attractive?"_ he teased her standing as if striking a pose.

The sound of his voice irritated her. He was so different than Spock that it gave her a headache. Kirk was boyish, irresponsible, shallow and in a sense even needy or insecure. Why else would he act like that? Seeking everyone's acceptance, especially women's?

"_Honestly? No! I'd have to be unconscious to sleep with you"_ she answered him pointedly.

"_That could be arranged!"_ he threatened taking one more step towards her, amusement in his eyes.  
"_Oh, you are so funny!"_ Uhura scowled pushing a strand of hair out of her face, wishing the whole move didn't make her look like she was intimidated or nervous.

"_I know right? I'm hilarious!"_ He laughed grinning widely.

"_But seriously now, Spock would never have to find out. Come on, gimme a kiss?"_ he leaned down, pushing his lips together in a half-pout.

"_Eeew! Get away from me. Trust me, Spock would definitely know!"_ Uhura hissed trying to push him away, but he captured her hands mid-air.

"_I wouldn't tell him. Scout's honor!"_ he reassured her letting go of her hands but closing the distance between them and putting his hands around her on either side of the wall behind her.

"_Well, he would surely understand it once he saw your black eye"_.

"_Whoah!"_ he said swiveling on his heels till he was facing the door again. "_You must really hate me"_ she heard him say and she could tell it had affected him by the way his shoulders fell.

"_I don't hate you" she muttered trying to mitigate the blow she assumed she had given him.  
"Actually, I don't think of you at all!"_ Nyota finally said, deciding that it was the closest to comfort she could give him.

"_What do you think Spock is thinking right now?"_ he said and his voice had something Nyota couldn't quite put her finger on. Where was he getting at?

"_What do you mean?"_ she said with disgust.  
"_Do you think he is jealous that we are stuck here, alone?"_ Kirk tried again, turning to look at her, assuming his most seductive expression yet.

"_Who, Spock?"_ she voiced incredulously.  
"_Yes, Spock!"_ he insisted.

"_Of you? Please! He has nothing to be jealous about"_  
God, did he never give up?

"_Are you sure?"_ he persisted, licking his lips.  
"_Oh, now you are funny!"_ she scoffed and moved away from him again.

A sigh escaped her lips once she sensed motion outside and someone trying to open the door.  
"Thank God, we will be out soon… And… Kirk?"

"Yes?" he asked hopefully, rushing to her side.

"Once we are out, at least, you can say you tried all the Turbolift Pick-up lines you knew" Uhura told him and couldn't help gloating at the sight of his face dropping.

He just sneered but said nothing and paced towards the door that opened as soon as he got there.

"_Hey there kids! Cover yourselves! My, I hope you behaved yourselves in there"_ Scottie laughed but stopped and coughed when he met Nyota's eyes.  
"_Ooookaay"_ he mouthed making an awkward expression.

"_Miss Uhura? I trust you are alright?"_ Spock's voice resounded above everyone's else and Nyota hurried to get out, pushing past Kirk.

"_Yes, Spock. Thank you"_ she replied gratefully.

"Of course, she is alright. Why wouldn't she be?" Kirk voiced his bewilderment, faking innocence and it only earned him a look by Spock, which he bet counted as "pointed" in his culture, but in human terms it was nothing more than a blank stare.

He watched them as they walked away arm in arm and he let out a sigh.

"I'm alright too, thanks for asking!"

~ Fin ~


End file.
